Burlesque: The Review

When I first heard that Christina was scheduled to do her first motion picture, I peed my pants. When I heard that it was a musical film, I hyperventilated in a paperbag. When I heard that she was starring alongside Cher, I died and gone to Jack McFarlan's heaven. It was just a genius pairing isn't it? Of course I threw a little hissy fit when I found out that it was due out in the UK mid-December, which meant that when it came out on Thanksgiving, I had a month to wait for it and it was exasperating. Fast forward to today, when I finally got to see Burlesque with my friend Jess, it felt as though my Christmas was complete. The snow did not put a damper on my mood. In fact, it more like overcoming nature's hurdle and when I did make it to the cinema, nothing could get me down. Nobody or nothing stands between me and Christina. Not even muddy slush.



Going into this, I had in the back of my mind, various opinions from critics and fans alike as to how Burlesque fared to their palettes. Some said it was not Burlesque at all. Some even said it was 'so bad it's so good'. Fans praised the film from start to finish, and some just didn't give a damn. Now you can only imagine how that got me thinking as to how I would watch the film. Will I be a completely biased stan and watch Burlesque en rose? or should I be more critical and put my thinking cap on? In the end I decided to judge the film with a few points to consider in my rationalisation. First, I wanted to look out for actual burlesque within the film. Secondly, I decided I was going to judge Christina's performance, not as a fan musically but empathically. After all, this is her first film, and with no credible acting experience prior to this, we can only imagine how difficult it must have been for her to bear such a big blockbuster film on her shoulders. And finally, I told myself I was going to evaluate the film as a whole with fair judgement. It's probably going to be a bitter pill to swallow, but all's fair I suppose. So if you are reading, fellow Bionic Soldiers, please don't kill me.

THE PLOT:

Christina Aguilera plays Ali who is a farm girl from Iowa, who leaves her life at the trailer park to pursue her dreams of singing and performing. She buys a one way ticket to LA, and stumbles upon Tess' (Cher) Burlesque Lounge in Sunset Strip after a day of job hunting and exploring the city. She pays the doorman (Alan Cumming) her last 20 bucks and goes inside after seeing a dancer hanging out by the lounge's balcony. Ali goes in just in time for Tess' opening act, introducing all of her dancers in song, and she decides that that's the life she wants. Jack (Cam Gigandet) tells Ali who to talk to if she wanted a job and she head out back in search for Tess. After a whole lot of hoopla, which included her desperate attempt at working in the lounge by waitressing without being hired, she gets a job as a dancer to replace Georgia (Julianne Hough) because she was pregnant. One night after stumbling into work drunk, Nikki (Kristen Bell), the resident bitch and headliner gets sent home by Tess after she tells Ali that she's taking over Nikki's part. Nikki pulls out the audio while Ali and the girls are performing, and just when Sean (Stanley Tucci) was about to drop the curtain, Ali belts out a big one. From then on, the show was built around Ali, and a star is born.

CRITIQUE:

Plot-wise, this movie is as original as Louis Vuitton Speedys made in Thailand. But we all like that story, so this tiny speckle of unoriginality can be looked over. As a film of Burlesque, it's a very tricky thing to say whether or not it is about burlesque right of the bat. What burlesque means to us in our age, is more or less strip tease. Strip tease in the sense of pin-up goddess Dita Von Teese as she strips seductively, climaxing her act by swimming inside an oversized martini glass. That is the burlesque that we have all grown up knowing. So, is this what you should expect in the film? No. There are three notably burlesque-y scenes in the film, and that's about it (Christina's Mae West and I'm A Good Girl number, and Alan Cumming's number. Maybe the cookie box scene counts too?). Steve Antin gives Burlesque a dose of the Antin treatment with his sister Robin, who we all know as the brains behind a certain neo-burlesque dance troupe that we all know and adore as the Pussycat Dolls. However, you shouldn't write off the movie right away based on that, because that's a tad unfair. I read in an article before that some burlesque performers were outraged with the film because it provides a misconception as to what the art of burlesque really is, and all I could think of was that art is subjective and Burlesque was Antin's interpretation of it. Burlesque as an art is multi-faceted, and the strip tease is only a fraction in its spectrum. It can be anything from stage antics, to fire-breathing, to Vaudevillian cabaret, even contortionists. Basically, anything lewd, comedic, and satirical that is done with a saucy edge and on stage can count as burlesque. I can understand that these live performers are protective of their art, and that's fair enough, but they can't say that Burlesque isn't burlesque. Nobody said that the film was going to be a textbook for the art, or a go to if you will. It's Antin's idea of what burlesque is to him, and I think people should respect that. It's all relative with the dancing, and the singing and the tease. It's all in the movie, and so with that I think the public gets a perfect sampler plate of what burlesque has to offer. Plus for someone who has studied the art of burlesque, you'd think that these dancers would be aware of that history right? May I also add that Burlesque has more burlesque in it than the biopic musical (with bad music) that is Gypsy. Ali Rose maybe no Gypsy Rose Lee, but can I just say that personally, I think Christina kills Natalie Wood on this one.

In terms of theatrical performance, Burlesque gives me a very lukewarm finish. Starting with Christina Aguilera's Ali Rose, I thought that she did a solid job. Can I just say how terribly beautiful this woman is?!? The whole two hours on screen she exuded that luminescent glow and prettiness. I was gobsmacked! Anyway. At times Ali can be really likeable and endearing, particularly as she tears up after her first live performance at the Burlesque Lounge. That touched me. It was like watching any girl finally gather up the guts to perform how she wanted to perform all her life, and get the praise she deserves for it. It was relatable and compelling, definitely a standout scene from Christina. However, that's not to say that it wasn't awkward watching the rest of the film. While Ali shines with all of her Hollywood tan and glow on stage performing, the rest of the film was messy map of varying performance levels. Most times Christina's acting betrays her as an amateur because it can be as stiff as her false lashes, and at times completely detached. There is almost no chemistry between her and Jack, which is weird because while she performs on stage she has chemistry with the audience and the dancers. I think she definitely has her work cut out for her if she wants to pursue acting further, but for now, Burlesque was a solid start for her. I think that puts the comparisons between Glitter and Showgirls, maybe even Coyote Ugly to rest as this one kind of trumps them all. She's no Nicole, or Liza or Catherine Zeta but she is definitely no Mariah Carey or Elizabeth Berkeley, which is already a great compliment on its own.

Cher was the mother-or-auntie that we all want to have as she turned out a rather modest performance. Tess was hard and soft all at the same time, though with all that Botox, Cher could hardly show the emotional range that won her that Oscar. She did play a great den mother, and her two musical numbers are well worth the price of admission (ditto with Christina's). I was disappointed with Antin's underuse of Alan Cumming and Peter Gallagher however. Both have great broadway training (Cumming winning a Tony for his performance in Cabaret), so it was a bit underwhelming that both were reduced to very minor roles. Eric Dane and Kristen Bell (Marcus and Nikki) as the antagonists were both weak, though Bell fares better with her limited character. I actually enjoyed her playing the bitch with the best line in the film, 'I will not be upstaged by a slut with mutant lungs!'. Nikki almost had a touch of Monica Gellar whenever she snapped at someone who tried to borrow her make-up! So it was very big let down for me that she wasn't given anything more than that. I think had she been explored deeper, Nikki could have been a sneaky über bitch a la Georgina Sparks, but for the part she was given, she did justice to the role. Marcus was just lame. As sexy as Eric Dane was, Marcus was no different to his character of Grey's Anatomy as McSteamy. Cam Gigandet as Jack was textbook as Ali's love interest. Sure we all love the Famous Amos cookie box scene (see? he even gets to poke fun at the whole burlesque thing!), but I think we'd all have a crush on that quintessential friend-turns-into-crush-turns-to-jealous-lover character anytime. Shout out to Diana Agron who plays Natalie as well! That girl bared more fangs in Burlesque than she normally does in Glee as Quinn.

Overall the film as a whole was very messy. I think they should have cut the first musical number so when Ali got her chance in the spotlight, there would have been much more impact and we would have been as surprised as everybody else in the Burlesque Lounge. I also would have preferred it if Antin  didn't cut too much into the dance sequences. That way we could have appreciated the fruit of their 16-hour day dance trainings, instead of watching different angles that made some of the dancing more deconstructed than anything else. The script was witty and funny at times but there wasn't enough of it in there. I think if Diablo Cody really did read through the script, she should have rewritten the cheesy lines into something more quippy, and not give all the great one-liners to Kristen and Stanley. Apart from that, I think that as a light-hearted, PG-12 holiday film, Burlesque definitely fits the bills. It was, for me, much better than last year's Nine. It has more catchy musical numbers and unlike Nine, it has an actual plot. What the film lacks in depth, it makes up for with the visuals. Cinematically, Burlesque was a feast for the eyes. With all that glitz and excess, it playfully tows line between tasteful glamour and garish indulgence. The Burlesque Lounge was part Cabaret, part Moulin Rouge, and part Crazy Horse. It really is a shame that the club does not exist in real life right? How awesome would it be if it did? I would definitely pay my last 20 bucks to take a peek inside. I think what Burlesque was to me was how the Moulin Rouge would have fared had Zidler sold to the Duke (the Duke being the figurative Hollywood ruining machine). That's probably one bone that I would definitely pick with Antin. I think he should have made Burlesque a bit more underground, to provoke that curiosity and uphold that raunchy and almost taboo sense that is very burlesque. However, it is a PG-12 film after all, and after the events at the X Factor, imagine how much complaint the prudes would make about something as organically seedy as Burlesque? So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is that Burlesque is your typical, run-of-the-mill, chickflick with a lot of sass. It's perfect for the holiday season, and though it's definitely not Oscar Best Picture material, it is still a nice and solid effort from Antin and the Cast. I think some of the scathing reviews that it got were a bit unwarranted but everybody's entitled to their own opinions. However, I think some were already intent on writing off Cher and Christina right from the get go anyway, so it was no surprise that they were only more than prepared to pounce on the film after it's release. I, on the other hand, cannot wait for the DVD to come out...so I can add it to my collection of lift-me-up musicals. I highly recommend it.

RATING: ***1/2

It's like an essay right? Now if only I can put as much effort into my actual homeworks as I do with this, then I probably wouldn't have anything left to worry about by the time terms begins again.

Hope you go see Burlesque!

xoxo